Let me start out by introducing myself. For those that don’t know me, my name is Lisa. I am 34 years old. I have decided to start this blog as a way to document, share, and educate about this very important journey that I am about to begin. This is my way of sharing an exciting part of my life with you 🙂
I grew up in an average American family. A mother, father, and 2 sisters. I am the middle child and many can tell this based on my personality 😉 I live in a cute little white house with my fur kids. My dogs are my world and I am sure you will be hearing about them as I post more.
My sister and her husband have been struggling for years with infertility. I’m not going to go much into their story about infertility as I don’t feel it is my place to share that information. However; I will say, that after several frustrating years of trying to have a child, it has come to the point where medical professionals have decided they need a gestational carrier.
Many of you may not have heard the term “gestational carrier.” You may have heard the term “surrogate.” A lot of people use the terms intermittently. But there is a difference. A surrogate (or a traditional surrogate) carries a child for a couple using her OWN egg. This technically makes the child biologically hers. A gestational carrier carries a child for a couple using the couple’s egg and sperm (or donors). The child is NOT biologically hers. I hope this makes sense.
My sister and her husband are able to make “perfect” embryos from her eggs and his sperm. For some reason, the embryos will not implant. This is the reason a gestational carrier is needed. It is very important to remember that this child WILL biologically be my sister’s and her husband’s.
At this time, I can’t give too much identifying or personal information due to the circumstances. As time goes on, I will be able to share more.
I remember back in November 2015 when the conversation about surrogacy (we didn’t know the difference between surrogacy and being a carrier then) came up between my sister and I. I had brought it up prior to that, but honestly, in a joking way. In November, I offered again. I think this was the first time that the thought was actually taken seriously by both of us. In the back of my mind I never thought it would actually come to this point. She had a couple more IVF transfers ahead of her yet and I was remaining positive that one would stick for her. We continued to talk about the process off and on but things became serious in about February 2016. My sister had 1 more transfer and if that didn’t stick, we were going to move forward with surrogacy.
Once this became a reality, I never second guessed the process. I had a couple of friends jokingly tell me I was crazy. The more I continued to talk about this, the more they realized that I was serious. One friend even told me, “I knew you were going to do it the first time you brought it up.” I wanted to do this for my sister more than anyone could understand. I have been SO lucky to have nothing but support from the very few friends I did tell.
I don’t fit the typical surrogate/gestational carrier model. Many doctors require you to have your own children…obviously to prove your body can handle a pregnancy. I don’t have children of my own. In fact, I don’t want children of my own. Also, my sister and I don’t live in a surrogacy friendly state (more on that later). We knew that these two things could cause some potential issues. Regardless, my sister began having the conversation with her fertility doctor. I began educating myself as much as possible. We talked with friends and family. We knew this was going to happen.
Moving forward to today (May 2016). Here we are. After months of my life consisting of very little other than reading about surrogacy and being a gestational carrier, we are ready to start this journey. I feel that I am moving forward with this exciting, nerve-wracking, scary, happy, holy shitballs journey being very well educated in the process. My sister is just as educated, if not more, in the process. We are committed at this point.
As you follow my blog, you will realize that I am an open book (very different than my sister and her husband). You will probably read some stuff and ask “wtf..why is she telling people this?!” You will quickly learn…I have very little filter. My mother often yells at me for this. LOL. I apologize in advance for anyone who is offended. 😉 On the other hand, I have to consider my sister and her husband’s thoughts on sharing some things. It is equally their journey and I am respecting that.
I am open to any questions (just beware of the answer you may get). HA! Also, I know that many people who have experienced pregnancy already will be reading this! I may need advice, help, questions answered! You know way more than me!
We had our first appointment on 5-6-2016. My next post will be about that appointment 🙂 Stay tuned!
Thanks for the support and for cheering us on during this process! Any encouraging comments are appreciated 🙂 Feel free to follow!